Steps to Healing Series
Beginning The Healing Process
I became a Christian when I was 18 years old. It wasn’t an even exchange; I got a savior, and God got a badly damaged hot mess. My salvation was instantaneous, but my transformation took considerably longer.
There were many things in my life that needed change. I had been traumatized throughout my childhood and adolescence, and there was a need for much emotional healing. I was trapped in depression and a negative mindset, so I needed my mind to be renewed. I also experienced spiritual abuse after being saved, so I had to work through many spiritual issues such as forgiveness. I had to learn how to discern between the lies I was believing and the truth of God’s Word. Most importantly, I was very confused about my identity and had to learn who I really was in Christ.
All of this took time. Healing can be instantaneous, but most of the time it is a process. God will use many different people and resources to help you along in the journey. For me, as for many people, this included:
- Counseling (both pastoral and psychiatric)
- Support groups
- Prayer (lots and lots of prayer, both individually and with others)
- Medication
- Educating myself about the issues I struggled with
Another resource that many people include in their “recovery toolbox” is journaling.
What Is Journaling?
What Is Journaling?It’s important to understand that a journal is not a diary. A diary is where you record daily occurrences; a journal is far more than that.
A journal is used to connect with your innermost thoughts and feelings, a tool for processing your emotions. It is a place where you can pour out your frustrations and anger, a way to bring things to the surface that may have been deeply suppressed. Journaling can help you discover things you may have overlooked; it can help you determine if your perception of past events is correct.
The format your journaling takes is entirely up to you. Some people journal online, while others prefer traditional pen and paper. Some people simply use bullet points, while others will write in complete sentences. Journaling can also include drawings or illustrations representing events and feelings. Some people like to include Bible verses that are applicable and inspiring.
Benefits and Obstacles
Benefits and ObstaclesScience has proven that journaling has many positive benefits. Studies have shown that it can help lower blood pressure, reducing stress. It can relieve the symptoms of depression and anxiety. It can help to alleviate the effects of trauma and abuse. It can even improve your memory and boost your immune system.
There can be obstacles to journaling. Some people struggle with writing. Perhaps they’ve had negative school experiences and the whole process seems intimidating. It’s important to remind yourself that this isn’t a class assignment. Correct grammar, spelling and punctuation don’t matter here. No one will be grading your journal. It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Men in particular may have some initial resistance to the idea of journaling. This is because American culture teaches men to suppress their emotions. From an early age we are told, “Big boys don’t cry.” As a result of this social conditioning, many men are seldom in touch with their emotions– except for anger, which is socially acceptable for men. This is why some men often feel angry but can’t explain why. Many men have a hard time connecting with what’s really going on inside of them. But if they are persistent, journaling can help them to open that door.
It’s important to note that journaling isn’t a replacement for counseling or therapy. It’s just one more resource for your recovery. And if you are in counseling, it may be beneficial to share some of your journal entries with your counselor. It may help them to gain insight into possible treatment options.
My Own Experience With Journaling
My Own Experience With JournalingI was encouraged by a counselor to try journaling, and at first I found it frustrating because as a writer, I kept wanting to rewrite and edit. But he advised me to see the writing as a train-of-thought process and just let the thoughts and feelings flow out onto the page.
I continued to journal for several years and eventually found it to be a very therapeutic activity. It really helped me to get focused and connected to my feelings, rather than being trampled by them. Slowly I learned how to respond rather than react. I identified things that were triggering for me and learned how to cope with them more appropriately. I was able to work through a lot of my confusion through journaling. It helped me to feel calmer and more in control, and that was a good thing.
At some point you may be faced with the decision of what to do with your journals. Some people keep them, looking back at them occasionally as a way to see their progress. They may decide to keep them as a reference should they decide to write a memoir. Other people decide to discard their journals.
I remember a dear pastor friend asking me what I intended to do with mine. I hadn’t even thought about it, but he asked, “If you were to die today, would you want someone to read them?” Immediately I knew my answer was “No!” I had used my journal as a safe place to write down deeply sensitive and shameful things that I would never want anyone to know about. At times my writing had been quite emotional and graphic. It was never meant to be seen by anyone else. I felt that it would be like displaying stained bandages that had been used to cover ugly, festering wounds.
So my decision was to get rid of my journals. I was actually surprised to find that the act of destroying them felt like an immense release. I was letting go of all the dark things I had written about, and I felt as if my past was resolved and I was at peace.
This decision is something personal. It may not be time yet to decide, but you’ll know when the time is right. Trust that the Lord will guide you in what to do, as always.
Final Thoughts
Final ThoughtsIt’s important to keep in mind that there’s no right or wrong way to heal from a traumatic past. What works for one person may not have the same results for you. Expect to experiment as you work to find the right mix of tools that are best for you.
Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. Transformation takes time, but God has promised, “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6). God has started something good in your life, and you can trust Him to complete it.
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