Your Place At The Table

Where I Was Sitting

The other day I was reading my Bible, as I do every morning.  I have a daily reading plan from Our Daily Bread Ministries that I follow, which takes me through the entire Bible in a year.  To add some variety, each year I use a different Bible translation, and this year I’ve been reading The Message, a Bible translated into contemporary English.

This particular morning I was struck by Psalm 113:7-8:  “He picks up the poor from out of the dirt, rescues the forgotten who’ve been thrown out with the trash, seats them among the honored guests, a place of honor among the brightest and best.” 

As I read these verses, my mind flashed back to high school and our cafeteria.  Back then, in the early Seventies, it was totally segregated– not by race but by clique.  I suspect it was the same in your high school, and it’s probably still the same today. 

We had several groups that the students divided themselves into.  First there were the Jocks, who were at the top of the popularity pyramid in our high school.   Then there were the Greasers, who were into cars, and the Potheads, who were into…well, you know. 

There were the departmental cliques–  the Artists, Musicians, and Writers.  And there were the Nerds, who had high academics and low social skills, and the Party Animals, who mostly spent the weekends drinking.  Besides these cliques, there were several other groups made up of friends who just always hung out together, including at lunch.

One Other Table

And there was one more group.  Well, it wasn’t a group so much as a collection of leftovers, the kids who didn’t fit into any of these categories.  They weren’t really friends, they were just loose ends who weren’t allowed to sit anywhere else.  So they sat at the table in the far corner of the cafeteria, the table everyone called the Loser’s table.

That’s where my place was, through all four years of high school.

All of us at that table were rejected and bullied to varying degrees.  Most of us were loners, through no choice of our own.  That phrase “the forgotten who’ve been thrown out with the trash” from Psalm 113 brought these unhappy memories back.  That’s pretty much how I thought of myself back then– a piece of trash that nobody wanted.

I’m not trying to depress you.  There’s a point to all of this.

Step forward in time, three months after graduation.  I’d moved to a different town and started my first semester at college.  But I was the same old me; only my location had changed.  My surroundings were different, but I was still a mess.

Then– a miracle!  Yes, a real miracle.  A Jesus freak led me to salvation.  I was born again, what the Bible calls “a new creation in Christ.”  I had a personal relationship with Jesus now, and some things began to change for the better.

But…not everything.  Not yet.  I still had serious problems, mental strongholds, emotional baggage.  My mind was still bound to my past.  I was still sitting at the Loser’s table.

Years passed.  I grew in faith, I learned more and more about the Bible.  I was baptized in water and baptized in the Holy Spirit.  I was chosen to be a deacon, and my desire to serve the Lord increased.  I graduated from college, I got married,  and I entered full-time ministry as a teacher in a Christian school.  On the surface I looked pretty good.

But inwardly, I was still sitting at the Loser’s table.  

Saved But Still Struggling

I struggled with a thorn in my life.  I lived in secret shame.  I was insecure in my salvation, constantly afraid that God would say, “That’s it.  You’re through.”  The pastor’s frequent admonitions about backsliding filled me with fear, and I threw myself into works, hoping to prove to God that I could be of some use.

More years passed.  And more, and more….

Counselors told me I had a poor self image, low self esteem.  One even told me he thought I had PTSD from all the abuse I went through in childhood.  I still felt trapped.  The abundant life seemed out of reach.  I was still sitting at the Loser’s table.  

Slowly God began a healing process in me.  Brick by brick, the strongholds were torn down.  Some light began to come in, dispelling the darkness.  My progress was one step forward, two steps back.  It was agonizingly slow work.

Gradually things began to click.  I began to see that my problems were rooted in my identity, in how I saw myself.  As I became more secure in my identity in Christ, I realized I don’t need to fear God’s rejection.  I don’t need to work to earn His approval.  His love is unconditional and eternal.  I am not forgotten trash.  I am His dear child.

I’m not sitting at the Loser’s table anymore.  I have at a place at His table now.

Time To Change Seats

Does my story resonate with you?  Do you know Christians who are still battling addictions or other life-dominating problems?  I’m convinced many of these Christians are like me.  They have an identity crisis.  They really don’t know who they are in Christ.  They’re saved, but they don’t know what that salvation gives them except a future in heaven.  They don’t understand their inheritance in Christ.  They’re still burdened with emotional baggage from their past.  Their minds are clouded and confused by Satan’s accusations.

They’re still sitting at the Loser’s table.

If this is you, or someone you know, I want to assure you that change is possible.  

Your road to recovery doesn’t have to take as long as mine did.  You can learn who you are in Christ, and what you’ve inherited as a child of the King.  You can become strong and certain in who you are and Whose you are.  You don’t need self-confidence, you need God-confidence, the confidence of your position in God’s kingdom and the purpose He has for your life.  Step into your identity in Christ.  It’s time to switch seats!

You can leave the Loser’s table behind, and take your place at the banquet table of God Almighty.  There’s a feast awaiting you there!

(If you don’t know where to start, I suggest speaking to your pastor and consider counseling to help you sort things out.  I also suggest you begin reading “Who I Am In Christ” daily.  These are biblical affirmations that can renew your mind with God’s Word.  You can find them here.) 

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Related Posts:

“Winning the War in Your Mind”

“iDENTITY:  Who You Are In Christ”

“Hello, My Name Is…?”